A lot of games made with renpy have that thumbnail
Kzachyt_2
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A member registered May 11, 2021
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i found some grammar errors that you can fix in the beginning when the character says "but i do not do it." it would be better to say "but i don't." and when the thig on the top left pops up that says "you should avoid hurt your snout in the future" you should change it to "you should avoid hurting your snout in the future" and when the lion says "with this sudden situation we were suddenly put into" you should change it to "with this situation that we were suddenly put into" and at the very beginning when it says something about sand and gravel pressing in your back it would be better to say "Sand and gravel? they press into my back and stick to my skin like they want to pull me back into the ground" and a lot of other sentences are redundant and sometimes it seems like you try too hard to be poetic and it becomes a little bit confusing
- when the mc looks over the cliff you should put "why can't i... remember anything?" basically switch the cant and i.
- change "why im here!?" to "why am i here!?" (at the cliff scene)
- "making my skin slips from his touch" doesnt really make sence to me
BTW ill put more errors if i find anymore